From the church-sanctioned burning of cats for fun to serving up roasted lampreys as a delicacy, these medieval practices are better left in the past.
Wikimedia CommonsFrom divorce by combat to the “medical” practice of trepanation (pictured), these medieval customs will leave you thankful to live in modern times.
It can be hard to imagine just how difficult life was for people in the Middle Ages. And from today’s modern perspective, some of their most common practices seem downright sadistic. From horrific medical treatments and animal trials to vile dishes and bizarre divorce proceedings, the nine medieval customs below prove how odd the Middle Ages were — and how far we’ve come since then.
Physicians treated everything from headaches to possessions with trepanation, the practice of drilling holes in the head to let the brain “breathe.” Divorces could be handled by physical combat between spouses. And hemorrhoids were burned off the anus with glowing-red irons — or scraped off by the doctor’s unwashed fingernails.
While every historical period tends to reflect on the previous one and shudder, medieval traditions take the cake. From food and sex to science and the law, every facet of life in the Middle Ages was stranger, harder, or more disgusting than ours. And though they may seem far-fetched, these customs were quite real — and common — just a few centuries ago.
Medieval People Burned Cats For Fun
Wikimedia CommonsIn the Middle Ages, Pope Gregory IX issued a papal bull alleging that heretics worshipped cats — leading to their mass slaughter.
While the Ancient Egyptians worshipped cats as goddesses, medieval Europeans associated them with the devil. Christians in the Middle Ages believed God gave them dominion over Earth’s natural world. While dogs happily did their bidding, cats appeared unable to be controlled — striking terror into the hearts of men.
These anxieties even found their way into religious law when Pope Gregory IX issued a papal bull called Vox in Rama on June 13, 1233 A.D. This official decree declared that Satan himself routinely took the form of a cat — and that devil worshippers kissed the animal’s anus at Black Magic banquets to garner Lucifer’s favor.
“Of common wild cats I need not to speak much, for every hunter in England knoweth them, and their falseness and malice are well known,” wrote Edward, Duke of York, in the 1400s. “But one thing I dare well say that if any beast has the devil’s spirit in him, without doubt it is the cat, both in the wild and the tame.”
This feline phobia skyrocketed during the Bubonic Plague in the mid-14th century because it was commonly believed that cats spread the lethal bacterium rather than rats. Meanwhile, during the reign of Pope Innocent VIII in the 15th century, the entire species was excommunicated as the Church embarked on European witch crusades.
“Parisians liked to incinerate cats by the sackful, while the Courimauds (or “cour à miaud” or cat chasers) of Saint Chamond preferred to chase a flaming cat through the streets,” historian Robert Darnton writes in The Great Cat Massacre. “In parts of Burgundy and Lorraine they danced around a kind of burning May pole with a cat tied to it.”
Cat burnings across Europe continued for centuries, with scholars estimating the death toll reached into the millions. While cats were mostly incinerated, the Danish trapped them in barrels and beat them to death, and Belgians threw them off towers. Fortunately, animal cruelty laws in the 1800s ended this systematic slaughter.
The Horrifying Practice Of Trepanation
MITMedieval doctors believed trepanning (or drilling) the skull could alleviate a roster of ailments.
Trepanation might sound like nervous hesitation, but the medieval surgery was far more gruesome than that. Derived from the Latin trepanum, which translates to “borer,” the aptly named primitive practice led medieval doctors to drill holes into the skulls of their patients to alleviate a variety of ailments — from seizures to migraines.
Physicians believed exposing the dura mater membrane of the brain and spinal cord to fresh air would help cure people of their afflictions. Doctors used a roster of crude instruments to do so, from rocks and wooden tools to metal clamps and drills. Preparations naturally included shaving part of the ailing patient’s head.
Trepanations were often conducted for issues like epilepsy or demonic possession. The medieval custom had ancient roots, however, having been performed by civilizations across the globe for millennia. According to Dr. Miguel A. Faria Jr. of Surgical Neurology International, it might have even been the first medical procedure in history.
“Trephination (or trepanation) of the human skull is the oldest documented surgical procedure performed by man,” Faria Jr. wrote in Surgical Neurology International. “Trephined skulls have been found from the Old World of Europe and Asia to the New World, particularly Peru and South America, from the Neolithic age to the very dawn of history.”
Modern historians first learned of the surgery’s historical scope after American diplomat E.G. Squier found a trepanned skull in Peru in the 1860s. He noted that the skull showed signs of regrowth, meaning the patient had survived the ordeal — before researchers around the world unearthed further examples of the practice.
From Ancient Greece and Rome to Africa, South America, and the South Pacific, trepanations were more common than previously thought. While many were conducted to relieve pressure or remove skull fragments after an accident, others were utterly misguided — and failed to exorcise people of their demons.
Married Couples Could Divorce By Combat
Public DomainMedieval divorces were far more hands on than today’s legal disputes.
While modern divorce proceedings certainly aren’t pleasant, their medieval counterparts were actively excruciating. The bizarre practice of divorce by combat was first documented by German fencing maestro Hans Talhoffer. As his 1467 manuscript Fechtbuch (“Fencing Book”) relayed, the proceedings involved spousal bloodshed.
“As per the instructions, the husband was put up to his waist in a three-foot-wide hole dug in the ground, with one hand tied behind his back. The woman was to be armed with three rocks, each weighing between one and five pounds, and each one wrapped in cloth,” wrote Talhoffer.
“The man could not leave his hole but the woman was free to run around the edge of the pit. If the man touched the edge of the pit with either his hand or arm, he had to surrender one of his clubs to the judges. If the woman hit him with a rock while he was doing so, she forfeited one of her stones.”
Talhoffer’s confounding accounts were discovered by University of Oklahoma professor Kenneth Hodges. Trial by combat, in which the accused can request a duel in place of a trial, had long been documented by historians. Divorce by combat, meanwhile, was seemingly only discovered by scholars in recent years.
Talhoffer’s manuscript held illustrated depictions of the antiquated ordeal. It primarily chronicled divorces by combat in medieval Germany, which grew increasingly rare after the early 13th century. These accounts ultimately shed light on the gender dynamics of the time, with men being given a substantial handicap during the fight.
While scholars continue to debate how divorce rulings unfolded, participants would likely continue until one of them capitulated. That is unless they weren’t bludgeoned or strangled to death beforehand.
Animal Trials And Executions Were Very Popular
Wikimedia CommonsThe bizarre effort of trying animals in court spanned from the 13th to 18th century.
The right to a fair and impartial trial by a jury of one’s peers remains one of the most sacred tenets of jurisprudence in America. It provides the accused with trust in the judicial system and the hope that their fate isn’t determined by a biased judge. While animals have no notion of this, they were still tried in Medieval Europe.
According to historian Edward P. Evans and his 1906 book The Criminal Punishment and Capital Prosecution of Animals, even unruly rats were “sent a friendly letter of advice in order to induce them to quit any house, in which their presence is deemed undesirable.” This dynamic most famously also affected pigs.
The most well-documented case in that regard was spurred by the death of a five-year-old boy in 1457 in Savigny, France. Villagers witnessed one sow and six of its piglets fatally attack the child, leading to a full-blown trial replete with two prosecutors, eight witnesses, a judge — and a defense attorney for the adult pig.
With witness testimonies and blood spatter on the swine, the court easily ruled that the pig had fatally attacked the deceased child. The piglets, meanwhile, were exonerated due to their young age. In the end, the sow was was hanged by her hind feet from a makeshift gallows on a tree.
While animal trials in the Middle Ages may appear extreme today, they once dominated untold hours of courthouse appointments. It only required criminal complaints for animals like goats, horses, and dogs to be subjected to these proceedings — and be slaughtered or hanged for their alleged misconduct.
The reasoning behind this was comparable to the medieval burning of cats. European Christians of the Middle Ages believed God had granted them dominion over Earth and that they were in charge of ensuring a rigid hierarchy of laws regarding earthly behaviors. Fortunately, the practice has long been made illegal.
Hemorrhoids Were Burned Off With Hot Irons
The British LibraryMedieval doctors used cautery irons to burn off hemorrhoids — or scraped them off with their fingernails.
While afflictions like cancers or autoimmune disorders left the ancients baffled, may ailments known today were just as notable millennia ago. Medieval doctors may have thought the devil possessed people with epilepsy, but nuisances like hemorrhoids were just as glaring in the Dark Ages as they are today.
Unfortunately for patients in the Middle Ages, hemorrhoid treatment included neither refined approaches nor anesthetics. Medieval physicians used glowing-red pieces of heated iron to burn the hemorrhoids off — or simply used their fingernails to scrape the swollen veins from the patient’s anus.
Those suffering from hemorrhoids in the Middle Ages were commonly referred to as victims of Saint Fiacre’s curse. The moniker was counterintuitive, as the Catholic priest was actually the patron saint of hemorrhoid victims. Legend has it that he once had hemorrhoids too, but sat on a stone and was cured moments later.
Contemporary doctors have long instructed those with hemorrhoids not to directly sit on the swollen group of veins and to let them rest. Saint Fiacre presumably allowed his hemorrhoids to be reintroduced into his anus by sitting on a stone. For medieval patients for whom that didn’t work, other methods were undertaken.
Most physicians initially instructed their patients to sit upon a stone and say their prayers. According to some, the rock that Saint Fiacre sat on remains standing in his garden to this day. When this didn’t alleviate the issue, however, doctors inserted cautery irons into the patient’s anus to burn the veins off.
The more unfortunate patients were treated to an excruciating scraping that involved the doctor’s fingernails. While seemingly primitive and rudimentary, this method was suggested by the renowned Hippocratic Corpus medical works collection from Alexandrian Greece. In the end, it certainly worked — but not without pain.
The Strange World Of Medieval Food And Delicacies
Public DomainFrom roasting cats to serving up beavers and lampreys, many medieval dishes weren’t for the faint of heart.
Europeans in the Middle Ages routinely cooked, served, and ate dishes that most people today couldn’t possibly pretend to stomach. From beaver tails and minced swan entrails to roasted cats and slithering lampreys — the meals our medieval predecessors ate would likely spur animal cruelty charges today.
The average diet during the Middle Ages was a relatively healthy combination of bread, vegetables, and meat. Pretzels were a popular and convenient snack, and people even brought their own meat to local bakers who wrapped these in dough to bake them. Unfortunately, not everyone could live so leisurely.
From baby rabbits to barnacle geese, European taverns and inns were riddled with weird medieval foods. Historians have since pointed to Christianity as the reason for this, as the devout observed a minimum of three fast days per week and established strict rules regarding their diets — and found some bizarre solutions.
People annually fasted for 40 days of Lent but also gave up animal products throughout each and every week. The reasoning was rooted in scripture, as people fasted on Wednesdays to honor the day Judas betrayed Christ, on Fridays to remember God’s suffering, and on Saturdays to pay tribute to the Virgin Mary.
According to Bridget Ann Henisch and Fast and Feast: Food in Medieval Society, this self-imposed form of self-discipline was “a spring-cleaning to freshen the soul and make it ready to receive God’s grace.” Any land animals that would die during the Biblical flood were off limits, but fish were exempt from restrictions.
While coastal townsfolk leisurely enjoyed seafood to satisfy their religion, those living inland were subjected to old rotting herring and cod. This led to an increase in alcohol consumption as many drank wine or ale in order to stomach meals made of lamprey — or cats that the superstitious skinned and cooked for their allegiance to Satan.
Curious exceptions included beaver tails, rabbit fetuses, and barnacle geese, which were mistaken for aquatic creatures at the time. Fortunately for everyone involved, the Reformation during the 16th century lifted these ubiquitous restrictions and allowed people to eat what they chose — even on Fridays.
The Groom Of The Stool Was A Disgusting Job
Wikimedia CommonsThe Groom of the Stool transported the king’s portable toilet — and recorded his bowel movements.
While many could quite rightfully complain about their crappy jobs, no title compared to the medieval groom of the stool. This position required the appointed person to transport the king’s portable toilet — and keep a detailed ledger that chronicled his bowel movements. Rather surprisingly, the bizarre job was highly coveted.
Since grooms of the stool were in close quarters with their monarch from dawn to dusk, they had the king’s ear more than most. This position became quite advantageous as a result, with grooms serving as personal confidants of the king — and growing more privy to their wants, weaknesses, and secrets as time went on.
This position emerged out of sheer necessity during the days of the Tudors in the 1500s. With the luxurious fashion donned by monarchs, kings needed help getting out of their clothes before doing their business. Meanwhile, the medieval toilet was simply a wooden block with a hole carved into it and a fabric-covered seat.
While scholars continue to debate whether the groom simply handed the king a cloth or literally wiped his anus clean, the perks of the job were well documented. The mere act of servicing royalty saw grooms themselves become high-status citizens. Appointed by the king, they typically came from promising families.
“It grew in importance during the time of the Tudors, especially after Henry VII moved much of the administration of his government, including his finances, to the Privy Chamber where the groom resided,” said history professor Ben Lowe, according to How Stuff Works. “This led to a more administrative role for many grooms.”
With influence over the king and invaluable insight into royal power dynamics, grooms could request favors, provide suggestions, and be showered in gifts from envious onlookers. Henry VIII’s groom, William Compton, even received land grants, leases, and offices — and was paid the same as a top-tier nobleman.
Inside Medieval Bedding Ceremonies
Wikimedia CommonsMedieval weddings didn’t require formal ceremonies until the 12th century — but they often saw attendees carry the bride to her bed to consumate the marriage.
While many devout couples today agree to wait until marriage until they have sex, the medieval custom of bedding ceremonies let wedding attendees witness the act first-hand. Practiced across cultures in Medieval Europe, beddings symbolized the community’s faithful involvement in the couple’s marriage.
Friends and relatives most commonly participated in beddings, but acquaintances and locals also joined in. The ceremony began with a priest blessing the bed as the couple drank wine while bridesmaids and groomsmen threw the pair’s stockings at them — with a direct hit suggesting the thrower would soon marry.
When this antiquated ritual concluded, the bed curtains were drawn, and the couple consummated their marriage. This was overwhelmingly done in private, though some scholars claim even the intercourse was observed by participants. Even royals like Catherine of Aragon were bedded after their weddings.
“Catherine was led from the wedding feast by ladies in waiting, then courtiers de-robed Henry (VIII) in the bedchamber,” explained historian Lucy Worsley. “Until the very last minute, the room would have been full of people cheering them on.”
Beddings grew increasingly rare in the 17th century. King Charles I of England, who reigned from 1625 to 1649, vehemently refused to participate in the act. Nonetheless, beddings continued for at least another century. King William III and Mary II were not only bedded by uncle Charles II — but cheered on during sex.
The Horrible Execution Method Of Being Pressed To Death
Library of CongressCountless accused criminals during the Middle Ages were executed by being pressed or crushed to death.
While accused criminals were routinely executed by being pressed to death under enormous weight for thousands of years, the macabre punishment notably proliferated in Medieval Europe. The act itself was rather simple — and saw the victim getting crushed to death by an intense weight after being tied down.
Unlike the ancient approach undertaken in Southeast Asia more than 4,000 years ago, Europeans didn’t use elephants to crush their victims. The British used slabs of stone and often used the method as a mere form of torture. Ultimately, only those who refused to enter a guilty or not guilty plea were subjected to the act.
Officials strapped victims down before they added increasing weight to their chests, hoping they would cry out with a plea. Refusal to do so saw the victim suffocate. Their bones commonly broke inside their bodies, and bones tearing through the skin wasn’t rare.
The most famous case in American history emerged during the Salem Witch Trials. Farmer Giles Corey in Danvers, Massachusetts, had been accused by multiple women of bewitching them and visiting them in ghostly form. Tried in 1692, he refused to enter a plea — and was subsequently pressed to death.
“Giles was asked to strip naked and lay down, face-up, on the ground,” wrote the Massachusetts Historical Society. “A wooden board was then placed on top of him, and on top of the board, one by one. Sheriff George Corwin placed large rocks… On the third day 19 September 1692 (Corey) died from being pressed to death.”
Ultimately, England outlawed the practice in 1772. The Enlightenment Age had seen society reassess its medieval practices and set a course to more humane methods of punishing those who broke the law.