Farts are usually the stuff of giggles, sibling squabbles, or awkward silences, but history hides darker tales where a single toot sparked catastrophic consequences. Two ancient stories—one from Jerusalem in 75 AD and another from Egypt in 569 BC—reveal how something as trivial as flatulence could ignite fury, rebellion, and mass slaughter.
In 75 AD, as historian Josephus recounts in The Jewish War, a Roman soldier’s crude act during a Passover celebration in Jerusalem unleashed unimaginable tragedy. Picture a crowd of Jewish worshippers, gathered in prayer, their hearts lifted in reverence. Amid this sacred moment, a Roman soldier, dripping with anti-Semitic scorn, decided to mock them. Josephus writes that he “pulled back his garment, and cowering down after an indecent manner, turned his breech to the Jews, and spake such words as you might expect upon such a posture.” His brazen fart was a calculated insult, desecrating the holy occasion. Outraged, some in the crowd hurled stones at the soldier and his comrades. The Romans, unaccustomed to defiance, summoned reinforcements. What began as a skirmish at the Temple exploded into a riot. As the Roman army flooded the scene, panic ensued, and 10,000 Jewish people were trampled to death in the desperate scramble to escape—not by swords, but by the crushing weight of the fleeing multitude.
Centuries earlier, in 569 BC, a fart in ancient Egypt fanned the flames of a revolt that toppled a king. Greek historian Herodotus tells of General Amasis, sent by Pharaoh Apries to crush a rebellion among restless troops. Instead, Amasis joined the rebels, who crowned him their new king in defiance of the pharaoh. When Apries learned of this betrayal, he dispatched his advisor, Patarbemis, to confront the traitor and demand his surrender. As Patarbemis scolded Amasis, the general responded with audacious disrespect. Lifting his backside, he let out a resounding fart and quipped, “Carry that back to Apries.” When Patarbemis relayed the insult, the enraged pharaoh ordered his messenger’s nose and ears hacked off—a brutal act that only deepened the kingdom’s unrest. The mutilation of Patarbemis became a rallying cry, fueling outrage against Apries. A furious mob eventually tore the pharaoh apart, and Amasis ruled Egypt from 569 to 525 BC.
These tales, separated by time and place, show how a fleeting act of flatulence can unleash chaos. In Jerusalem, a fart sparked a deadly riot; in Egypt, it heralded a revolution. So the next time you feel a rumble, remember history’s lesson—and maybe hold it in.